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Due to the recent events on LJ, I have decided to make my journal friends only. As long as you don't seem to be a troll or a stalker I have no problem friending anyone. Just leave a comment here and I'll get to it as soon as possible. It's not necessary to leave your age or birth date, if you want to I won't stop you though.

I had a Friends Only pic up, but I'm sick of seeing the PhotoBucket crap plastered over it, so I took it down. I wish DW would let us directly upload a photo on a post.

Date/Time: 2020-03-22 18:43 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] paulamcg
paulamcg: (Default)
I’m sorry if you’ve felt that I’m pressuring you to publishing HP fic soon. If I have, I’m stopping now. I should understand, also because my chaptered fic is so plot-oriented that only later on there were such parts – Remus’s letters to Harry, recounting some events in the 1970s – which I was able to publish separately on platforms where I wasn’t posting the novel as a WIP.

Oh, Snape’s memory in OotP – of course! I know I mustn’t ignore it, and I need a reasoning for Remus’s – and the other Marauders’ – behaviour (just as you said about Snape’s behaviour shown in the books from Harry’s perspective). I’ve regarded that scene as a single incident and not a proof that Remus was a meek bookworm who didn’t stop his mates from bullying – or wasn’t more active in stupid, even cruel pranks. If I remember correctly, Rowling has explained that Lupin’s weakness was wanting too much to be liked, and I’m afraid this (instead of remaining just one interpretation, albeit the author’s own) is regarded as a canon fact by those who listen to what the author says outside her work, and this has limited possible IC characterisations. Oh, I want to defend Lupin, because I hope you can like my Remus or at least find him interesting! I do not think we learned very much at all about him and the other Marauders in canon.

I definitely agree with you that pairing Lupin with Tonks came out of nowhere and didn’t make any sense. That’s why I’m happy I started writing about him so early. I’m also actually glad that Rowling limited herself to Harry’s perspective (with the exception of those opening scenes in GoF and HBP – boring, apart from the scene with Snape – and was there something in DH, too?) so that fanfic writers could do the extrapolating of what else goes on in the fascinating world. My novel is exclusively in Remus’s third-person voice, but he acts in a magical world of which we see a lot of such elements and dimensions that are not shown or understood from Harry’s perspective.

Oh, I love your interpretation of Snape and Lily’s relationship. That makes perfect sense for the characterisation and for the plot (in canon, too). Of course, Harry might well not possibly be able to understand the nature of Snape’s regret. I find such a story hugely appealing (and I can’t resist saying I’ll be happy to read it some day, written by you). (I lived the majority of my decades assuming I was heterosexual, as that was the expectation, and even had three children. When discovering fanfic, and a fiction writer in myself, I was attracted to slash but for a long time preferred writing it completely without sex scenes, and I learnt about asexuality – in general and almost immediately my own – only ten years ago. I’ve got my own big regrets! And perhaps got to too personal issues here.)

As for reading fanfic, I’ve noticed the same as you. I can’t help missing the old fanfics – missing, because, due to my hunger for interaction, I mainly read fic by writers who are still around, replying to comments, and possibly interested in reading my work, in turn. There was some kind of different spirit in writing when the canon was still open. (By the way, the Horcruxes is another element of the latter books that I dislike, along with the dehumanisation of enemies and dropping the themes of fighting for equality for other than simply human creatures.)

I’ve gradually noticed that after my eight-year hiatus, a year ago, I entered a changed fandom, and not only in new platforms. I still don’t know much about what the current Remus/Sirius fandom is like – and where – but I’ve seen interest in issues like how short Sirius is or not, and in plots (or rather just cute or sexy scenes) where the canon tragedy is all undone. But now this is turning into ranting! I do read AUs, and I’m open for almost anything, any pairing and characters, as long as the language is good, but I still can’t enjoy long, explicit sex scenes, particularly not het.
Date/Time: 2020-03-23 18:48 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] paulamcg
paulamcg: (Default)
Thank you for still replying and for leaving kudos for the PoA-era Remus fic. I’m so glad you think my Remus is fine!

I wonder if you cover the whole OotP period in your fic. The current events of my post-OotP fic start in July and end in November 1996. I somehow managed to make the story unfold without any need for going back to edit the contents of the earlier chapters.

I think I’d ignore the epilogue, too, even in case I didn’t ignore the whole of the last two novels. After my return I’m surprised to see a lot of fic based on it, as I remember people disliking it when DH was released. Now I’m getting used to reading (e.g at Salt and Pepper Fest) fic that features epilogue characters, but I still find it difficult to remember who is who and to care about them. On the other hand, I can imagine there’s interest in “the next generation” among new and young fans who play with pairings to deal with relationship drama and sex.

Thank you for telling me more about yourself, so that I feel it’s all right I, too, add a bit, even without parentheses. I suppose it makes sense to reveal that I’m as old as 57. I did not have any access for a label like ace when I was young. I first saw the word asexual in fandom, and googling for it, I found AVEN. At that time I had been in love with a woman for a couple of years, so I concluded that I was a homoromantic asexual, but I suppose I’m biromantic, as I had been in love with some men, my husband among them, while never realising that other people were attracted to and enjoyed intimacy with people in a way I never felt. I’ve never been very eager or spontaneous to demonstrate affection physically even to children, but I’m all right with hugs and I’ve loved holding hands and kissing on lips when I’ve loved romantically.

I’ve never been only in the Wolfstar corner, as I’ve always been preliminary interested in Remus and eager to read about him in any pairing (even with Tonks – but less so if the fic is based on DH or just HBP) or in genfic, an interested in well-written genfic about any HP characters or OCs in the HP world. On LJ it just turned out easier in Remus/Sirius communities to find writers with whom to interact regularly. (I started on a small forum, the Snitch, and then found FictionAlley in 2004, LJ only in 2005.)

Now you’ve made me think that perhaps Remus and Sirius writers currently active on Tumblr know each other by name, and that’s why I got no feedback on Sirius Fest and now get several comments on Remus Fest as it’s anonymous. Anyway, SolaScientia is a great name and must be better for other fandoms. I’ve always been only paulamcg or PaulaMcG.

I just read in fanlore about squick: its usage has evolved to include everything from triggers and visceral turn-offs to 'stuff I don't want to write, read, or receive in a gift exchange’. I suppose sex scenes used to be a squick for me, but I can handle them better now, even write them. I’ve just remembered that last year I wrote two fics with het sex scenes. But in my fic sex scenes are never very long or detailed or the focus or the conclusion of the story. Those het fics are James/Lily and Lily/James (as I always mention first the viewpoint character), and that pairing is just there naturally, part of my Remus’s friends’ lives and therefore my Remu’s life, and the reason I write it is not to explore kink or anything like that. I realise that “anything like that” isn’t preferred in my case, but so many good writers I get to know write that and I guess I’m getting used to reading that, and perhaps it’s good for me to learn more about what others than asexuals enjoy in real life, too.

Oh, I should make my babbling brief and leave you with more time for reading fic!
Date/Time: 2020-03-24 14:57 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] paulamcg
paulamcg: (Default)
That WIP of yours sounds fascinating and challenging. It must be a lot more interesting both for you and for readers to make it canon-divergent in this way, instead of just retelling the book from another perspective. I wonder if it’s first-four-books-compliant. And if the reader should know the video game and the other book series – and I’m guessing no, as you say it’s not a crossover. Draco/Ron sounds intriguing, too. What amuses me is that there’s something your work and mine share in the opening: in my chapter one Remus comes to rescue Harry from the Dursleys’! (I had actually imagined something like those first scenes when looking forward to OotP being published.)

But no, Paula is not my real name. I chose the username when joining my first fandom home, The Snitch Forums (a month before someone asked me to read and review a fic and I decided to start writing mine). Paula refers to Paul Simon and to another Paul, another “favourite poet” of mine, an American guy I’d met briefly and stayed romantically in love with for a few years in my twenties. McG is from McGonagall, because like her I was “not exactly young”. (Funny, though, I’ve never written about Minerva although I like reading about her.) I suppose the age difference between me and some of my fellow writers and other readers must have been even greater than I thought! I did enjoy mutual reviewing also because it was wonderful to encourage young people to write, offering my concrit gently – while I could always learn a lot from them, too. English is not my mother tongue, and although I never lied about that, I didn’t (and still don’t) offer that fact publicly as I was afraid people wouldn’t give my fic a chance or would claim it was just good enough for a non-native speaker.

I wish PaulaMcG were known by now as a good writer. But I can’t expect that, as I went on hiatus for so many years. And I never had a big readership – because of the contents and the style of my stories, I guess. Most of the friends I made before 2010 have probably left fandom, or at least HP fandom. Some moved from LJ to IJ and here – and it looks like some who went to Tumblr want to become more active here now. I’d love more LJ type interaction on DW and sharing and dicussing our fanworks here (even though it’s great to have AO3 as the archive). Since the beginning of the year I’ve enjoyed discussion both on my DW and on other people’s journals, but on my journal people seem to be interested only in other than fic posts.
Date/Time: 2020-03-25 16:33 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] paulamcg
paulamcg: (Default)
not the mark of a good author if they have to further explain something rather than telling it in the story itself Exactly! And I believe you’ll manage to show how those elements from other “canons” work, just in the way we can show how our own extrapolations of HP magic (like my Magic of Images or the wandless magic my Remus refers to in the fics you’ve read) work.

I’m glad the language in the fics by me you’ve read didn’t seem to you to be “not my language”. I wonder why writers want to make such statements. I reveal my native language in comment threads like this or in private messages only rarely and only to people who’ve already read some fic by me. I guess not even the beta I’ve had since last year knows. I don’t know about fluency, but I’ve sometimes noticed that people with other mother tongues follow rules of grammar even more correctly than native speakers.

Oh, such prolific, active readers are a treasure and deserve praise! I was nominated for the Kindest Reader (while Remus Lupin and the Revolt of the Creatures was nominated for the Best Multi-Chapter story) at the Deathly Hallows Awards in 2010, but I never read very much (no high-rated fics), and it was rather that I posted detailed comments.

That’s an interesting point about fandoms having become mainstream. At the same time, for instance on a current friending meme on DW, HP looks almost like a niche. The HP fandom as a whole must be huge and evolving on different platforms, but I’d like to belong to a group of HP writers in a cosy corner, such as some LJ communities used to be.
Date/Time: 2020-03-28 10:48 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] paulamcg
paulamcg: (Default)
What you say about forced rules is interesting and this view of the issue is partly new to me. I was fortunate to start learning English when I was nine, and to never find its grammar or spelling appallingly difficult. I didn’t learn like children now from videos, but from teachers who were not very good at pronunciation, I learnt to read and write English years before I had opportunities to use it in real conversations. I was taught rules like those you describe but also introduced to different texts, also some that were closer to spoken language.

At the beginning of my fanfic writing I got some feedback about the formality in my style, and it was a challenge to make my dialogue more natural. Someone said that native speakers use such “shortcuts” that I didn’t. Having been a lawyer, I’m somehow fond a rules. But I also love twisting or transcending them and just following the spirit of them. And I like how you word it: considered grammatical if it is understood by native speakers and is acceptable, even if perhaps uncommon or unconventional. I guess I’ve gradually developed my fiction voice, and I’m glad if there’s something unconventional about my word order and sentence fragments, but I also avoid poetic tricks and hope that my language sounds natural, my characters real.

I always forget DH was published as early as three years before I completed my post-OotP novel! I’ve read CC (in English and in Finnish, because as a HP – albeit only my HP fanfic – enthusiast I felt I needed to complete my collection and bought the books) and FB (funnily only in Finnish, because I happened to attend an event where the translator signed the books with dedications – and I asked it to be to PaulaMcG), but obviously I don’t count them. As I don’t count anything after OotP – or anything outside the novels! I’ve always ignored everything Rowling’s said outside the story, and just found it sad that not everyone does. What do we need these statements for? “Remus’s middle name was John – boring but true.” On the basis of the letter J on his briefcase I’d written about how his parents tried their best to negotiate about the beast name that was required by the Werewolf Registry. Yes, in my universe there are no Mr and Mrs Lupin. In a way I’m happy that Rowling’s come out more openly about her unacceptable views, so that more HP fanfic fans are now in the Death of the Author camp.

I must understand that people who are not hopelessly obsessed with HP and want entertainment find new canons to enjoy, TV shows which they can consume weekly or daily. I’ve really been startled to see in fandom phrases like “the media I’ve consumed this week”. I just don’t do that. Maybe I sound like a snob, but in the depths of this thread I can say that my attitude has always been different. Even when I only read literature, I never thought that I was a consumer. (I also got most of the books I read from the library). I’ve thought that I’m a recipient of art – and since 2003 an active recipient who writes and shares, making a small contribution to literature in its open, free-of-charge form. Now we talk about how the evolving technology and the internet have made it possible for everyone to “create content” (and that’s part of the media education I should offer to my special needs kids, too, at work), but I should understand that not everyone can or wants to be an artist.

I still want to be optimistic about the HP fandom. When it’s shrunk enough, perhaps the rest of us can share our art in a supportive, creative community.
Date/Time: 2020-03-31 17:35 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] paulamcg
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My mother’s been a code-switcher, like you, as long as I can remember! She got to western Finland as a child when (pre-war) Finnish Karelia was evacuated, and we moved close to the (new) south-eastern border when I was four. Always soon after she answered the phone I heard in her dialect whether the call was from a neighbour or my father’s family in the west. And I learned to speak more formally, because I felt insecure about the dialects. Also because I had a big sister who spoke on my behalf, I started speaking (to people outside the family) late – more comfortably only in my twenties, and I could almost say that I learnt to read and write before learning to speak.

Now that you’ve made me ponder this I realise, for the first time, that perhaps this background of how I learnt to use my mother tongue has affected the way I learn foreign languages. Like for you, grammar has always been the easiest part for me. But my major weakness is in pronunciation. I became fully aware of some sounds in English only when learning and also staring to teach Modern Greek (when I was twenty-seven). Polish pronunciation is a huge challenge for me. Learning vocabulary has not been that hard for me, because I’ve had an excellent memory of texts I’ve read. Just when studying Polish around ten years ago, I felt that remembering separate words had got harder when I’d aged – whereas the other members of my theatre troupe are surprised how quickly I learn and never forget my lines.

Yes, I’m definitely in that camp – all for the readers’ right for interpretation and extrapolation.

I do watch some things (recently Money Heist, The Witcher, Mindhunter) but only with one of my sons, who needs that sharing. And of course I read other things, all the time. But I never feel like making fanworks on the basis of anything else than HP. I trust the HP fandom won’t die – and I believe it will outlive me.
Date/Time: 2020-04-03 19:08 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] paulamcg
paulamcg: (Default)
It must be wonderful to learn pronunciation in the way you do! I remember how I seemed to simply refuse to remember even what “thank you” is in Arabic before I had learnt how to write and read it in Arabic letters.

Now I realise that when thinking about a word, I somehow see it in my mind in the way it’s spelled. On the other hand, I read very slowly, and my inability to learn a quick, glancing technique in reading can be explained by the fact that I’ve had very weak sight in my right eye, which is now completely blind. I always read as if I were reading aloud in my mind. I’ve thought that this is perhaps a weakness which I’ve turned into a strength. I’ve read carefully and learnt (by heart) what’s been required at schools, and I choose my words and edit my texts carefully, listening to the sound of the words (with faulty pronunciation at times, for sure :)) in my mind.

I could definitely not make podfics of my own stories or I’d ruin them. It’s sad, because I love reading them, also truly aloud to myself when there’s no one else to hear.

It’s comforting that not all comparative literature professors have impeccable pronunciation! I (and people in general, too) used to think we should learn to sound like native speakers of English. With the globalisation it’s become more acceptable that not only formula drivers (some of the internationally most famous Finns) but also professionals in international business speak English with their own accents (and my highly successful friend in a high position in Human Resources in an international company makes – in my view – awful grammar mistakes, but it’s all right as his English is easy to understand), and the Finnish accent is perhaps not the most incomprehensible, at least not if we remember to sometimes stress other syllables than the first one. But I’d like my fiction to be read in beautiful British English.

I wonder what there is about HP that makes you write long fics when you can write short ones in other fandoms. After all, I keep writing a single terribly long story, even though I’ve succeeded in turning the rest of it into manageable short stories.
Date/Time: 2020-04-11 11:49 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] paulamcg
paulamcg: (Default)
Since I’ve shared fic on AO3 and fic-related posts on my DW, it’s taken me a while to get back here. Thank you for still replying!

Now I can’t resist quoting… Ah, how you've explained how you read also explains how what you had to say after reading a couple of my short stories was just that my Remus is okay! I wish there were readers who read – even listened – to every word I’ve carefully chosen, but I guess I’m an anomaly with my writing.

Yes, I agree that the complexity of the worlds must be a reason why people end up writing long fic in HP and LotR. When I started (right after OotP came out), I thought that fanfic was about writing a chaptered story like Rowling’s, because others on the forum posted about the beginning of Harry’s sixth year. I just chose an adult’s perspective and ended up not covering a school year but expanding the world and going deeper, so that the story turned into a novel.

Only after six months or so did I write my first short story, and it was redoing a scene of my novel from another perspective. After that it’s been easier to feel motivated to and succeed in writing sharable drabbles and short stories of any length (from 500 to 20 000 words). I enjoy the challenge of making each of them work separately – some of them even separately from the canon, like the two drabbles I reposted the other day on my DW, too – while adding something meaningful to the whole big story and including references to various parts of it.

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